


It's Not Complicated

by zuotian



Category: South Park
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Dialogue Heavy, Episode: s22e07 Buddha Box, M/M, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-02
Updated: 2018-12-02
Packaged: 2019-09-05 11:19:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16809580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zuotian/pseuds/zuotian
Summary: Fed up with Craig's behavior, Tweek ends their relationship after the support group meeting.





	It's Not Complicated

**Author's Note:**

> ALL CHARACTERS AND EVENTS IN THIS FANFICTION—EVEN THOSE BASED ON A REAL SHOW—ARE ENTIRELY GRATUITOUS. ALL CANONICAL DIALOGUE IS IMPERSONATED ... POORLY. THE FOLLOWING FANFICTION CONTAINS COARSE LANGUAGE AND DUE TO ITS CONTENT IT SHOULD NOT BE READ BY ANYONE.

After Token’s exclamation, the support group disbanded pretty quickly. Cartman’s mom left dejectedly tittering, while Cartman fumbled behind her in tow. The other participants followed, until it was only Tweek and Craig left with the therapist.

The therapist stood, and began stacking the empty plastic chairs next to the raised stage. Tweek watched, sometimes glancing back at Craig, who sat next to him still wearing the Buddha Box.

“Craig?” Tweek asked.

He spoke softly, and without much hope. When Craig didn’t reply, Tweek’s countenance dimmed, and he got up from his seat to speak with the therapist.

“Uh, excuse me, sir,” Tweek said. The therapist was leaning beside the stack of chairs, checking emails on his phone. “Hey, man!”

“What? Oh.” The therapist pocketed his phone and stood straight. “What is it, young boy? Do you have anxiety too?”

“Yes! I do!”

“Oh, do you want a Buddha Box?”

“No, I don’t,” Tweek said. “I’ve already had anxiety my whole life. Really bad anxiety, and my boyfriend knows that.”

“Is that why he has a Buddha Box?” the therapist ventured.

Tweek faltered. “What? I don’t know - maybe! That’s not the point!”

“What is it, kid?”

“Look,” Tweek said, taking a step closer, “nobody understands like me what it is to be anxious. And I thought...” Tweek’s shoulders drooped and he looked away. “I thought Craig knew that most out of anyone. But now all of a sudden he says he’s got anxiety, and he just shuts everything out! I never did that to him - and I have a real problem!”

“So you’re having relationship issues? A lot of couples come to me, and you know what I tell them? They both need more quality time with their phones. Have you tried that, Tweek?”

“I don’t wanna be on my phone. I want to talk to Craig!”

“Craig is struggling right now,” the therapist reprimanded. “He’s taking things at a pace different from yours.”

Tweek angrily tugged at a lock of hair. “Gah - do you even know what I’m talking about?”

“Kid, I’m a licensed professional. Don’t come here telling me how to diagnose and treat my patients. Here.” The therapist picked up an extra Buddha Box and handed it to Tweek. “Take this.”

Tweek glared at the therapist, then threw the Buddha Box on the ground. “Screw you, man!” He turned around and took Craig’s hand. “We’re leaving,” he snapped.

Craig tripped out of his chair, and resisted Tweek’s pull. He dug his heels in and lifted his Buddha Box. “What the hell, babe?”

“We’re leaving, Craig,” Tweek repeated with more emphasis. “Come on.”

Craig sighed. “I told you this was a waste of time.” He lowered his Budda Box and allowed Tweek to lead him out of the community center.

Tweek began leading Craig home. “I feel like a blind guide dog, you know,” he said to his boyfriend. Craig of course couldn’t hear him, but Tweek continued anyway. “You’re being a real dick. After all that stuff, and the song we sang, and the fidget spinners I got - you’re just gonna do whatever Cartman tells you?”

Craig snickered at something. His voice was muffled by the Buddha Box.

“I don’t even know why we’re still together,” Tweek said. “Craig, did you hear me?”

Tweek stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, took out his phone, and changed his Facebook relationship status.

The Buddha Box jolted as Craig read the notification. He lifted the headpiece and whirled to Tweek. “What the hell, Tweek? Why does Facebook say you’re single?”

“I’m breaking up with you,” Tweek said, letting go of Craig’s hand.

Craig’s brow furrowed. “What? Why?”

“You don’t even talk to me. You think you can do whatever you want, just because Cartman said you could in the bathroom after he peed on you.”

“I talk to you,” Craig said. “I’m talking to you right now. And Cartman didn’t pee on me - I stopped him in time. He didn’t pee on me, if that’s what this is about.”

“I don’t care. Every boy in the school could pee on you, and I wouldn’t care.”

Craig’s face fell. “Babe, don’t say that.”

“I mean it,” Tweek said.

“Fine,” Craig said resolutely. He put the Buddha Box back on and started walking down the sidewalk alone.

“Go ahead,” Tweek called after him. “Just ignore me. At least when I freak out, it’s about something real!”

Craig bumped into a news rack, oblivious.

“Ugh!” Tweek walked ahead so he didn’t have to see, and let Craig stumble all the way home, blind and alone.

Tweek had hoped his grand gesture would inspire Craig to communicate. Instead, it had the opposite effect. Craig wore his Buddha Box in class, while they ate with the guys at lunch, and during recess. Even if he would come into Tweak Bros. with Jimmy or Butters, the Buddha Box sat on his head.

Tweek found himself scrolling through Craig’s Facebook feed, and looking for photos of him on Token and Clyde’s Instagram profiles. He nervously awaited Craig’s relationship status to update, but it never did - not even to “it’s complicated.” Maybe because Craig was in denial - or maybe it really wasn’t that complicated, and Tweek just couldn’t see it.

He went to the next support group meeting alone. In fact, he was the only one who showed up in the first place. The therapist was sitting on his phone in the empty circle of chairs. Tweek walked up to him.

“What do you want?” the therapist asked.

“Do you still have that Buddha Box? I miss Craig,” Tweek confessed. “And if this is the only way to talk to him, then...”

The therapist smiled, and reached behind his chair. He held the Buddha Box out. “Namaste.”

**Author's Note:**

> i really wished something like this would've happened in the episode. i can't believe tweek showed up but didn't say anything. this is purely self-indulgent. i think it was matt and trey's point - they just didn't execute it well. i loved the ending though, i mean. wow. 
> 
> let me know what you think, leave a comment


End file.
